"Funeral Options in Today's Marketplace"

          Mine is a profession of change and evolution. When my great-grandfather began as a cabinet maker, over 120 years ago, one of his duties was to build caskets. As time progressed, he was asked by families to assist with the arrangements and provide more services to the point where he became more funeral director than carpenter. However, each service was much the same - visitations were held in the family home, most funerals were in the church, and each service concluded with burial. Later, when my grandfather entered the family business, they dispensed with the manufacturing of caskets and opened one of the first funeral homes in Winnipeg. This was an evolution, based on public demands for service. More and more visitations were held in the funeral home, but still the church was the location of choice for most funerals, and cremation was unheard of. Still however, each service was much the same, only the location of service and burial was different.

          Today, families are requesting more personalized services, and while the "traditional service" followed by burial in still the norm in many communities, cremation and alternative services are more common than before. Funeral directors have always provided a wide range of services available to meet the needs, wants, and budgets of their client families, but today there are more families taking advantage of their various options. Today the word "funeral" signifies many things to many people. It can be anything from direct disposition (burial or cremation) without any kind of ceremony to a traditional funeral complete with visitation and service, or anything in between. As always, the choice of service level is up to the family. In the past the norm was what we know as a traditional service followed by burial, today the norm is whatever the family selects and suits their needs.

          As with any business, funeral service and funeral directors are driven by the demands of our clients. Generations ago my family's business was built on providing additional services based on what grieving families wanted. Today, our family continues to serve our community in Thunder Bay by providing whatever different level of service is asked of us - be it simple or complete. Because of the wide array of choices available, arranging a funeral can be a complicated process. There are many decisions that need to be made, and a family only has one chance to make the right decisions. In order to assist people in making informed choices, our firm has been proactive in getting valuable information into the hands of people before the need arises, so that when faced with a death, the decisions can be made with a minimal amount of stress and turmoil.

          The first decision is a basic one - cremation or burial. A family must decide what final disposition of the body is to occur. If the choice is cremation, then a further decision regarding the final disposition of the ashes must also be made. Contrary to popular opinion, neither burial or cremation dictates what other services can or cannot be held, or what other expenses will be incurred. In a future article we will look closer at the choice of burial or cremation.

          The next decision involves what services will accompany the burial or cremation. If the choice is for a traditional service, the options are fewer but include location of service, clergyman and/or eulogies, evening gathering or no evening gathering, open or closed casket, casket/urn selection, choice of music, complete in the chapel/church or procession to the cemetery/crematorium, location of reception, etc... For many families, the fewer decisions involved make a traditional service the easier choice, but ultimately it is their decision.

          For those who do not wish a traditional service, alternative arrangements can range from direct disposition to more complete burial or cremation services which are tailor-made to suit each individual family. The most basic service is direct disposition without ceremony, but for many families they wish to add services to meet their needs at the time of loss. Some families opt for a traditional evening gathering with viewing, but because they are not religious, they dispense with a formal ceremony. Others will have direct disposition followed by an evening gathering without the body present, and the next day have a memorial service. Some will simply have direct disposition followed by a memorial service in the funeral home chapel or their church. In order to simplify the decisions, most funeral homes have a variety of alternative service packages available and other options that can be added.

          Be it a traditional or alternative service, we urge survivors to personalize the event with their own music, photos, mementos, poems and readings, etc... This is their chance to remember and honour their loved one in their own way.

          Regardless of your personal preferences, we urge you to discuss matters with your family, priest, and friends. Remember that at the time of a death, we all experience loss and grief which must be dealt with. Funeral rites are for the living and while they are not an easy time, they are an important first step in accepting the death, celebrating the life that was lived, and healing the pain. In our society, our lives are full of celebrated events - birth, baptism, birthdays, confirmation, other religious events, graduations, weddings, anniversaries, retirement, and so on. Death is the last of a long list of important events, and according to most clergy and mental health care professionals, should not be overlooked simply because it is a sad occasion. In today's society it is one of the few events that pulls our circle of friends and family together, where "nobody is invited, but everyone is welcome". Chose the type of service that best suits your needs, but provide yourself with closure through some kind of ceremony. The renowned expert on grief, Rabbi Earl Grollman once said, "the choice to not have some kind of ceremony, is the choice to grieve alone".

          Funeral homes have the staff, facilities, and equipment available to serve all families with whatever type of service they require, at a price that will suit their budget. For further information or free literature at no obligation, feel free to call me, or your funeral director of choice. We're here to help.

- John-Bryan Gardiner, Vice-President, Managing Partner,
Everest of Thunder Bay.